Being positive isn't always easy. Especially when things don't go your way. But one way to be positive is to think about everything negative from your past as a gift that was put in your life with the purpose of helping you grow (and if it's not helping you grow, it's preventing you from growing and nothing can prevent you from growing but yourself). How you approach redeeming the benefits of that growth determines your identity.
1. Find Your Identity
Every person is a unique version of man. Your identity. Identity dictates how you will approach your journey to success. Since you're reading this I will assume your identity is one that wins, such as an underdog, a favorite or some mixture of both. And when you reach success you will be the embodiment of your identity. But you have to start somewhere, and that somewhere is your current state.
2. Define Your Current State
Defining your current state takes a strong stomach. The personal commitment you make to yourself, your will to keep it, and trust in my system to work is why being strong is of utmost importance. But success doesn't only depend on will. It also depends on your growth from negative situations to bring you from your current state to your identity's winning state. And allowing negative situations to contribute to your growth requires you to see everything as a gift.
3. Create Your Goal
While your identity addresses how you approach moving from your current state to your identity, goals are the explicit marks of achievement that define what success in a given area for successfulness in your life looks like. Small goals lead to big goals and the bigger the goal, the more growth required (save the once-an-eternity rare chance that odds line up in your favor to accomplish a healthy big goal without growth).
There are only 24-hours in a day so limit your biggest goals to ones you can actually achieve and truly want to achieve (keeping in mind your current state and whatever obligations you currently have). Typically you want goals that fulfill you physically, spiritually and emotionally/mentally, only picking one or two big goals for each of those types. And since a goal is a thing, seeing your success or failure to achieve your goals should absolutely be seen as gifts to grow as well.
Repeating behavior creates muscle memory and you will become better at what you do if you do it enough because you will notice the patterns of success.
After enough times repeating a behavior while growing from each loss (making a mental note of what was controllable and what you can adjust in order to succeed the next time you come across a similar situation), you will surely become better at the skills required for success. If success comes difficult, perhaps either you need smaller and easier goals or further sacrifice (further perceived negative situations, i.e. lacking that craving, substance, etc.) is needed.
Bear in mind the sacrifices that are toward your goal are helpful, even though (and perhaps because) they hurt very badly. But it's the only way to your goal. To enjoy life while making that goal oriented sacrifice, a system that ensures the enjoyment of periodic and requirement-based good times will help you make sure you stay motivated.
4. Create a System to Link Self to Goals
Find what motivates you and build a routine with your goal in mind that incorporates your personal motivation factors and hold yourself accountable to your routine, creating a system. The key is to withhold other needs until you hit your repetition quota. For example, if you like cookies, then cookies motivates you. But if you want to lose 20 lbs. by summer, eating cookies won't get you there...in fact, it will only work against you...whereas repetitions of taking running strides, as painful as they are, will get you there. Knowing your needs, withholding yourself from having a cookie until you run a mile twice a week, for example, is a system that will motivate you to succeed.
5. Work System
Following through on your system ensures you get more repetitions working towards your goal (thus more wins), especially considering your self-imposed incentive program which compared to the system are one-in-the-same.
These wins lead to confidence and after sacrifice and growth comes even more wins and more confidence until success becomes imminent.
6. Forgive Yourself for Setbacks and Grow
Every loss is a gift to grow making it a win and every win presents an opportunity to improve for the next win which is a loss, which is a gift to grow from making it a win again in a never ending cycle. This makes you both an appreciative optimist and a successful pessimist, but successful nonetheless.
As you encounter new (what would be) perceived negative situations (by the average bystander), continue to see those situations as gifts as well.
Seeing a positive situation as a gift is easy because positive situations are wins which give you confidence that you can do it again because, after all, you did it before.
Seeing a negative situation as a gift requires you to forgive yourself and possibly others, while accepting what is/was out of your control, and if it's out of your control, coming to terms with it, and if it is in your control, doing something about it.
7. Positivity Always
Quickly move from negative to positive feelings about the perceived negative situation with supreme confidence. Why? Because of all the times you wanted an outcome that you didn't get, it almost certainly wasn't completely your fault--and--your influence, though appreciated, can only persist as long as the solar system has a sun so have fun and don't be afraid to let it rip!
I reiterate quickly because negative feelings will occur, it's a fact of life from the most confident to the least confident of people. How you handle adversity and the moments of negative feelings that it causes is what makes you unique. Expressing those feelings is natural and is as much an automatic function as breathing itself. But looking at the big picture and making a choice to be positive with a declaration of "next" as soon as you consciously become aware of those negative feelings or act out on them is the key to finding success.
Positivity is always believing the best possible outcome will occur.
Changing your perspective to a positive outlook means knowing every situation, win or lose, is a gift. And it requires both the humility to accept your failure and the pride to believe in your ability to succeed.
And when you become successful, which I'm certain you will, begin setting new goals by starting at the top with your identity in case it has changed, your new current state, new goals, so on and so forth. And as a contribution to society, I encourage you in your own unique way to help others learn how to succeed because to serve others gives life purpose which is, after all...the purpose of life.
Together, the Troy Harris Seven Steps to Success are as follows:
Find Your Identity
Define Your Current State
Create Systems to Link to Your Goals
Forgive Yourself for Setbacks and Grow